Wednesday, May 23, 2012

MOTORCYCLE MARKETING MADNESS

Time to visit the subject of motorcycle design, a big go-ahead industry here in Beijing as traffic becomes more and more congested. Every day manufacturers strive to gain an edge over their rivals.

Now, if you're going to get ahead in the competitive market of scooter sales, you've got to have a snappy name. Something zippy. Something versatile ...

Got it, boss! The 'Anycycle'. It's like this bike can be
whatever you want it to be.

Hey that's not bad! Got any other ideas?           

This one OK?

Hmmm ... it's OK. But let's think of something specific,
something cool. What's cool?



Smoking!

Right! Smoking! Why don't we link up with a major
tobacco company?



Great idea boss! People are gonna love it.
It's like: "Ride around and have a fag!"

Exactly. But better still, let's not link with a major
company officially. It gets too messy. Paperwork, money

et cetera. Let's just use their name and not tell them.
Get some stickers made!


I'm on it!

Here you go boss.

Clown! How many of those did we make?


Yeah, quite a few.

Forget it. Learn how to spell and do it again later.
Hey the other thing you need on a bike is
a style pattern. Can you at least manage that?

Something like this?

That's more like it. Well done.


Hey boss, while I've got you, I had a thought
for the name of our new line of bicycles.

Oh yeah?

Yeah. How does the
"Potlrklsooprk Lkfei Ge Potlrkl" sound?

Aah OK I guess. Is it English?


Not sure.

What's it mean?


Don't know.

 Anything dirty?


Don't think so.

OK well go with it for now. You never know what's
going to catch on.



Also I thought we could suggest that a bike will
be the owner's best friend for life!

The BFF Bike?
Yes!

This bicycle will be the best friend this person will ever
have in their life?


Yes!

Great. That won't make them feel like a loser at all.
And how's that cigarette thing going?
Yes. All fixed. here it is ...

Oh for God's sake!


What now?

FIX IT! We're gonna be a laughing stock. Yamaha are
gonna think we're amateurs!

See what I mean? Now that's a slick-looking job!


It is. You're right, boss. But I think I've got what
we need.

Oh yeah?


Yeah. It's an image. A feeling. A vibe. It's' more
than just a bike.

What is it?

So they're buying our bike as a means of maintaining
their youth vigour for life?



Well ... yeah.

It's just a bike, mate. Let's not get too carried
away, shall we?


OK. I'll scrap it.

Well it's too late now isn't it? Look, just concentrate
on the smoking thing? Got that done yet?


Yep. Got it this time. Sorry about before.
Tadaaa!

3 comments:

  1. This is funny...I read it twice to check out all the pictures again...thanks for that!

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  2. I'm coughing so much from laughing you'd think I'd just had a Marlbolro, followed by a Marlbcro and then a Marlhoro.

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