As usual, beauty products are all the rage, especially around the nose region. Selling blackhead removing products is always a bit tricky for marketeers. Of course the key is to make everything look and sound as attractive as possible ...
|"Now hold still and just try to look as|
alluring as you can."
To be fair, this one was meant for the
Russian market. Maybe looking like
a koala is hot there.
|Instead, it might be better to put|
an 'after' photo on your package,
rather than 'during'. However,
there's not much funny about
this one. Oh wait ...
|AND THAT'S A PROMISE!|
Promises are a big thing in marketing, perhaps no more so than in cosmetics.
|Here's some wrinkle remover from our good|
friend Doctor Intensive, who used to be a
new wave band in the '70s when known as
Doctor Feelgood. Beside it, some ordinary
household cream to make a woman's
curves more attractive.
|"Damn that Doctor Intensive! After 28 days I swear I'd|
lost only 41.78 per cent of my wrinkles!"
|We're not sure what "Pro Ultra-Sexy|
Curve Cream" does or how it works.
But it looks like they've hit the
once mythical 139 per cent mark
in terms of making your curves
|Or why not just fling some of your fat around for a while?|
One of our beauticians can visit your home to assist ...
This could be an eye-treatment fail ...
|She looks happy enough, but the wording might put some|
off. "Seriation"? We know women attacking their own eye
wrinkles can't be spring chickens, but this is a word used
to describe a dating method in archeology.
And finally ladies, if all else fails, just go with the tried and trusted method: Charm him with your breasts!
|Or maybe just one of them. You might have to buy two|
packs of this wonder cream if you want to improve both.
Once you've charmed him, why not step out to ...
|Because everyone loves a good meal and a good sweat!|
Afterwards, how about a singalong at the VTK karaoke bar?
|Oops. That looks kind of permanent.|
Pity it wasn't a palindrome.
|But one thing's for sure, for a|
'fragrant crispy entry' there's
nothing like a good dose of
Here's another definition ...
GAFFER (noun). English slang term for 'boss'. Most often used by footballers to describe their coach, who should be a large, gruff man in his 50s wearing a sheepskin coat. Or else a gaffer could look like this:
|She's the lovely maitre d' at a high end|
Beijing restaurant. But it appears someone
was up to mischief when they helped
translate her business card.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the big city, as the Chinese Communist Party's five-yearly National Congress kicked off today, security forces were on full alert. They could have used a sign with some recognised international symbols, like this:
|No lingering - not even if you've just been|
And what's more ...
|Not sure I'd join a gym that needs signs like this.|
|Or this - "Banned Shit". Is this where|
confiscated goods end up, or a toilet
that only accepts fluids?