The Top 10 Upsides of Air Pollution ...
1. How else would we get those grey rings around our collars and cuffs?
2. You no longer have to baffle small children with lines like "Air is all around us Jimmy but we just can't see it".
3. Really bad smog closes airports, thus reducing noise pollution.
4. Everyone looks a lot better when you live in a sort of a hazy soft-focus.
5. You can choose to not call it 'smog' but 'mist' or 'fog' like a lot of government types seem to do in China. It sounds heaps more romantic.
6. Or you can even show off to your friends by using 'brume'.
7. If you've got a hangover, you can to tell the kids all outdoor activity is banned, hit the couch and put on a movie. With even less guilt than usual.
8. It makes us worry less about other health hazards - like skin cancer, or getting hit by a bus.
9. It promotes philosophy, prompting us to ask big questions like "Why, in hell, am I living here?" and "Wasn't there a building around here yesterday?"
10. Why do you want to see Beijing anyway? They don't call it "The Paris of the East" for a reason!